"There's a hole in my soul
I can't fill it I can't fill it
There's a hole in my soul
Can you fill it? Can you fill it?

You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve
And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground
Dig them up; let's finish what we've started
Dig them up, so nothing's left unturned"

Photography is a way to let out the words I wouldn't be able to say otherwise. I might not be a successful photographer but I do what I do for myself, because I need it. Before picking up photography I was really into horse riding, it was my whole world. Then I quit for many reasons, but I'm not here to discuss them right now. Sometimes I look at old pictures that make me feel so nostalgic, I so wish I could relive those moments that, although I was going through an hard time, were so bright and full of genuine happiness. Lately I've been thinking that perhaps I'm not part of the equestrian world anymore, maybe after all this time I've grown up and changed so much that I might have lost interest in it. Maybe because back at that time I was a little child with plenty of wishes, hoping that my beautiful dreams would come true and it has just left me so heartbroken, seeing it all coming apart. Maybe because as I grew up and got to know more about the world and its less nice aspects the illusion of being in a safe haven has disappeared. Not feeling the same way about that all did upset me so much, I would just wonder why things had to change, why everything could not be as it was before. 

But then other things make me realise that of course I've changed, I've gone through a lot since then and I didn't stay the same, but no matter what I always go back to horses. Maybe I don't live the whole experience as I would have done back at the time when I went riding  three times a week, but it's such a big part of what I am that I couldn't possibly ever cut it out. When I let myself hug a horse and I wish the whole world would go away, I discover that it does, and I am again in my safe place, where nothing bad can get to me, even if I'm more of a grown up than a child, and I feel so relieved that I could almost cry.